I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
