god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
