remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
