Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
