You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
