HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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