omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
