you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
my being single is dangerous.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
