And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
