I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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