I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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