i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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