So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
