whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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