yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
