If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
