Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
