Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
