Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize