if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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