Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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