Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
