So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
