i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
