dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize