Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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