She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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