ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
