dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
