There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Blood and glitter go together right?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
