i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize