somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Couch. On fire.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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