i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
