i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
