Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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