i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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