I'm gonna have a badass scar
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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