You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize