remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
should my penis look like a turkey
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
