I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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