dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
