cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
