Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
