we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
