Capitaan dildo arrescate!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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