I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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