ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
