I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Randomize
