I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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