went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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