went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize