I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
