This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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