He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
