But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
