we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize