Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
